But any assumption that nurture and child-rearing is somehow more "feminine" in the eyes of essentialists -- THAT'S oppressing women and men in different ways. It oppresses women by forcing them into having an expectation of motherhood (and perfection therein) along with the assumption that women can/will/should perform a lion's share of the domestic labor. It oppresses men by stripping decent men of their right to fatherhood (treating them like ATM machines without the interaction) while infantilizing them (as a group) as "inferior" at performing domestic duties (setting the bar very low for men, in that respect).

Obviously, patriarchy is to blame for both of these intertwined dynamics.