Hi Pavane --

To address your direct question:

"So let me ask you....are men really so hard on each other?"

Short answer: YES! (Caveat: they can be)

It seems to be a parallel to the dynamic of women who are extra-hard on other women. Not being a woman myself, I've obviously never experienced THAT. But many women have told me about enduring such toxicity from other women...and I've witnessed it, secondhand.

In the future, I plan to write a piece dealing with a subset of men whom I dub as "the mean boys." This is a variation of the women-hurting-other-women dynamic that we've seen depicted in movies such as "Heathers" or "Mean Girls." And, contrary to popular assumption, such behavior can come from men on the Left, as much as -- if not moreso than -- it can come from men on the Right...insofar as the dynamic of men mistreating other men.

Why do men oppress other men with these microaggressions and/or bullying and/or outright violence? I think it can be a combination of reasons. Bad modeling behavior from parents/guardians. Lax school supervision. Projection stemming from one's own personal insecurities. Patriarchal conditioning to always be in competition/oneupsmanship mode. Hyperactivity due to inflated desires for material gain, prestige, or psychological self-importance. Cluelessness from authority figures when it comes to LGBT+ issues.

It largely depends on the motivations and personalities of the individual men/boys who are being aggressors toward other men/boys, in any given situation. Either way, I'm so over it!