I suspect we're dealing with two sides of the same coin, here. "Anti-woke" people want "husband" and "wife" to be reserved for conventionally-heterosexual opposite-sex couples, while "pro-woke" people want everybody across the board to use "my partner" in the name of "degendered" equality/equity.

I think if people don't identify along rigid gender lines (based on biological sex), then "my partner" is a good neutral term for them to use if they don't use "husband" and "wife." But "husband" and "wife" should be inclusive of anybody who identifies as male or female while their spouse also identifies as male or female.