I will offer this consideration to both you and your husband (and it sounds as though I myself am only a couple of years younger than the two of you are)...

Teen boys want a sense of camaraderie and commonality, but -- as we all know -- so often, those outside influences can end up being toxic.

As each of your sons reaches puberty, if there's ever anything they don't want to discuss with you and your husband...consider whether there are any male extended relatives and/or male family friends who are closer to them in age (e.g., older teens, twenties, early-thirties) who'd similarly be looking out for their best interest, and who'd be responsible enough to discretely let you and your husband know what you need to know about your sons' newfound struggles. Not really as "spies," but as sort of liaisons who can filter the info/understanding to you that will be helpful & useful to you as parents.

I remember, when I was a teenaged boy, I really could have used this type of presence in my life. But I didn't have it...and I felt utterly alone and boxed-in.

CAVEAT: disregard this advice if your sons' specific personality types don't render them secretive and/or self-conscious around you and your husband.