I'm a gay guy who will only be with another gay guy, romantically and maritally, in the future -- and I refuse to use "my partner." It relegates the recognition of my relationship to a de facto business arrangement. I will use "my husband."

My relationship *is* about *me* (and my boyfriend/husband) -- and, if people think that makes me selfish, then so be it.

Now I totally agree with what you're saying about how we shouldn't stigmatize transgender, nonbinary, and agender folks for using "my partner" to describe their own spouses or romantic interests. They are being true to their identity.

I just don't see how one necessarily precludes the other.