It isn't a matter of "policing" everyone. If an adult is genuinely interested in getting to know a child, recognizing that child's independence and sovereignty is part of the package.

Otherwise, you're just treating them like a prop -- even if your intent is coming from a good place.

The longer an adult has been out of school, the harder it is for so many adults to truly remember and appreciate how nightmarish school can be for certain kids. I think many adults just ask "How's school?" so they can receive (or they're hoping to receive) the generic answer of "Fine" -- and then come away from it feeling as though they've met their quota for the day of paying lip service to the kiddies.