Kevin, have you read the following piece by Allison Gaines? I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on it:

https://medium.com/writers-and-editors-of-color/white-people-keep-misusing-the-word-woke-bd1306811931

Now, that being said...if your objective in writing this piece of yours is to try to spur self-reflection in White men who deny the existence of systemic racism...your approach, unfortunately, is flawed. It comes off as condescending and rather "choir-preachy."

This criticism, mind you, is within the context of my own agreement with you regarding many of the points you've brought up...namely, the structural inequities created by systemic racism, and the need to fix those systems. I just don't think your piece is really going to persuade anybody who is currently unwilling to acknowledge that reality.