Out of curiosity, do your sons subscribe to regressive gender roles based on a heteronormative male/female binary? You sort of alluded to it, but it wasn't necessarily 100% clear from your description of their whining.

Do they have any friends of color or LGBT friends? Or friends of different religious backgrounds?

Do you believe they are succumbing to (toxically-masculine) peer pressure, and/or harmful media messages? Do you suspect they are trying to rebel against the values that you, as their father, attempt to instill in them?

I'm just very fascinated by your personal account of parenthood -- because the stereotype seems to be that younger generations tend to become MORE worldly than their parents...but, in your household, it sounds as though the reverse might be occurring?