Penguin, you make some very valid points, so let me extrapolate my own thoughts on a few of them.

1.) Yes, the apology that ABC coerced from Joy, regarding her dig at Mike Pence, is extremely hypocritical when juxtaposed alongside of the gay anal sex joke (for which they gave Joy barely a slap on the wrist). But ABC doesn't have the best track record on consistency, especially with a tool such as Bob Iger at its helm. So I don't expect ABC to be consistent or accountable -- but I can certainly do my little part to call them out on it.

2.) I haven't read a ton of Jeanette Espinoza's work, so I can't comment extensively on her. (Marley K, on the other hand... *facepalm*) -- however, I would just say that ANY of us who write for Medium are fair game for constructive criticism from readers. How we each choose to respond is on us. Do we dismiss the criticism with Association Fallacies or ad hominem attacks? Or do we choose to engage in a healthy back-and-forth of dialogue? But, it works both ways -- how do THEY approach their initial criticism of us?

3.) You're right that it has caused me psychological distress. Why? Because I have experienced sexual violence (and an even greater plethora of sexual harassment) throughout my life, as have many gay/bisexual men. So, no, it isn't ALL gay men who would necessarily be automatically offended by Joy's attempt at humor. But for any of us who were triggered by it, our umbrage is legitimate, here. Joy certainly doesn't openly ADVOCATE sexual violence/assault/harassment against ANYONE. But my point within this article is that her misandrist tendencies clearly create a blindspot for her on this issue, if my theory is correct that she views sexual violence as being an issue that's "rarely" faced by men (regardless of sexual orientation). And gay/bisexual men would be, by definition, included in that misandry -- as exhibited by Joy's microaggressive "joke" from this past summer.

4.) And I definitely 100% agree with you about the necessity of good-faith attempts for people to work out their issues in, ideally, a constructive and civil manner. But I don't have Joy Behar on speed-dial. Objectively speaking, she has far more power and influence than I do. If, by some fluke turn of events, she was actually willing to have that conversation with me -- I would approach it in the hopes of fostering empathy and understanding...rather than as some trite excuse to humiliate or "cancel" her.