Rebecca -- first, overall, great suggestions to those who don't understand what allyship actually looks like (performative vs. proactive).

My question for you is regarding Suggestion #1 -- can this rule-of-thumb be modified for those of us who face severe mental health obstacles? For me, I'm unwilling to put friends who are BIPOC or POC on the spot by asking them how they're feeling when anybody with a brain should already be able to safely assume that BIPOC experience trauma anytime it's plastered all over the news. Why is it unacceptable to wait until somebody specifically comes to me to vent and express themselves about how they're feeling/doing?