Simon -- I disagree with your premise, insofar as I view white fragility as being very real when White people try to divert the conversation away from race (even when racial problems are evident in the subject matter at hand) and/or try to vilify BIPOC who point out racial inequities/inequalities. The initial message behind white fragility seemed to initially be one of encouraging White people to get outside of our comfort zones when it comes to engaging in dialogue with Black, AAPI, Indigenous, and Latinx friends/acquaintances who are open to it...and learning untold history that so often gets "whitewashed" (or dumbed-down) by schools.

Now, of course, it has escalated to proportions of absurdity by a lot of people on the Left: trying to unilaterally and narrowly redefine the definition of racism itself, gaslighting people by bringing race into topics where race isn't actually a factor, and sending mixed messages to White people that oscillate between "shut up and think the way we tell you to" versus "educate yourselves, and then spread that education to other White people without assistance from us." Toxic cognitive dissonance at its worst. I suspect that such dynamics might be at the core of what you're addressing?