So, if I'm understanding your point correctly: andocentrism and gynocentrism are both natural, and we should just expect them. They aren't, by themselves, good or bad -- they just are?

The next matter would be: Where do the value-judgments come in? I'd think it would be when someone makes themselves vulnerable by sharing their life experiences, but whoever they are trying to confide in refuses to listen or take them seriously? Because it's really shitty to dismiss someone when they are trying to reach out for help and support.

And women have been trying to communicate this to men -- over and over again -- for centuries upon centuries, but men won't listen? So, when it gets flipped the other way around, it feels disingenuous for men to suddenly complain about being gaslighted when they were the ones doing it to women for time immemorial?

Is this the abridged version of your overarching point?