So, when you say "apples with apples" -- it sounds as though you are saying that the best we can do is enforce sex-segregated spaces, and realize that it's inevitable that heterosexual men may have discomfort being gazed at by gay men or that heterosexual women may have discomfort being gazed at by lesbian women?

I agree we can't force people to feel positively or negatively (or neutrally) about something. But, at the same time, that doesn't mean we should enable their bigotry.

Your account of being raised half-Christian and half-Jewish is powerful, Tessa. It shows the bigotry of people around you -- how you weren't considered "Christian enough" for some of them but weren't "Jewish enough" for others of them. And, since you are an atheist now, I'd imagine you get rejected by even more people!

I know it happens to me. I'm a polytheist. Everyone thinks I'm nuts. I realize I'm not going to be able to convince most people otherwise, when it comes to my faith. But what I can do is draw a firm line between one's right to practice their religion peacefully versus their attempts to impose religious dogma upon the rest of society via civil law. I'm not backing down from the latter.

The same applies to sex-segregated spaces. If they know I'm gay (or find out that I'm gay) when I'm using the same restroom or locker room as them, I'm not going to try to force them to interact with me. But I will not allow myself to be harassed or targeted for exclusion.