That's what I mean when I say that the writers should have adjusted Gemma's dialogue.

Whoever wrote the episode obviously had an idea of what they INTENDED to convey, through Gemma's conversation with Grover. I think it was fine for her to have that conversation with him. But, as you point out, they were sloppy with the way they scripted it. It's like they expected the casual viewer to automatically know what Gemma meant, while (most likely) rushing through the scriptwriting process. Just because you and I both suspect that we know what the writer was INTENDING to communicate, that doesn't mean Joe Schmuckatelli on the at-home couch will be quite as astute.

It's even possible that Beth Behrs herself might have preferred to word her character's dialogue a little differently...but she was too hesitant to bring it to the writers' and director's attention because she didn't want to be accused of "whitesplaining."