You're right that it's unacceptable for gay men to hit on straight men if a straight man doesn't want the attention. I condemn their behavior, and they need to learn boundaries and self-control.

By that same token: it *is* bigotry for a straight man to assume that I (as a gay man) am necessarily going to hit on him JUST BECAUSE of my gay status -- and for him to intentionally avoid me and spurn me without knowing my individual character and my intentions.

You're absolutely correct that there are no easy answers, from any of us...especially when we're dealing with strangers.

I'm not expecting any of us to have all of the answers. I just expect us all to TRY to see each other's humanity, in good faith. I fail to understand why that is so unreasonable.

I've been hurt, harassed, and traumatized by certain people claiming to be "feminists" (usually self-identitifed as such)...does that give me the right to paint all feminists with the same broad brush of reductionism?

Like you, I also have Asperger's -- and it exasperates me to no end how it feels as though people might be trying to put words into my mouth or assassinate my character. But I also remind myself that perhaps I need to do a better job of communicating with them. This is why I've been asking you follow-up questions in the way that I have.