2023 Was My “Take-No-Prisoners” Year
And there’s more where that came from!
I’m guessing many of you can relate to what I’m about to say. How writing here on Medium can be a cathartic experience. How all of our rage, pain, and restless dissatisfaction with the rest of the world can spill out onto our written pages — or, perhaps it would be more appropriate to say, onto our computer screens!
So, as 2023 draws to a close, I’m going to take a self-absorbed, narcissistic moment to bask in all of the ways I mindfully spoke out during these past twelve months.
I channeled my anger from the life I’ve lived. And then, I redirected it into describing the better world that I desire.
That’s what makes me “The Nasty Gentleman” — pulling no punches, while also speaking to the goals and aspirations unrealized by millions across our planet.
My Top Three Soapboxes
If I had to narrow down a single trio of articles I’d published in 2023 that I wish everybody on Medium could have read, they would have to be these three…
These three examples epitomize how politics and pop culture have fused with Americans’ hunger for social justice while trying to dodge the landmines that have become modern-day illiberalism.
Social Justice
With all the American discourse over whether “woke” is a good or a bad thing, I wanted to give context to specific avenues for exploring identity, power, and culture.
I talked about “Oppression Olympics”…
I talked about white privilege…
I talked about intersectionality…
I talked about people’s annoyance with intersectionality…
As a White guy, I wanted to gain better insight about many obstacles faced by women, Black and Brown people, and folks whose upbringings, aptitudes, and professional backgrounds are very different from my own.
I wrote about topics such as the movie Hidden Figures, the legacy of Rosa Parks, The Fearless Fund, unsung women of U.S. history, and the decent practice of giving due credit to others.
As a member of the LGBT+ community, I felt called to broaden queer-oriented topics beyond what the mainstream media normally chooses to prioritize. I waded into an ocean of knowledge and reflection on “purity culture,” queer excellence, “straight saviors,” and queer-adjacent spirituality.
I reiterated why I can’t bring myself to become a niche-writer. How I view masculism as a nutric alternative to toxic masculinity. The times when being autistic “gets in the way” of relating to other people (even when it comes to something as seemingly simple as facial shaving). What it means, to me, when I identify as a polytheist and a rational egoist.
And how all of this factors into my end game in life.
Illiberalism
What do I mean by “illiberalism” — and why do I view it as such an existential threat to building a healthier, more functional society?
For some examples, check out my January 2023 editorial piece entitled “Yes, I Will Keep Using ‘Hyperwoke’ as a Pejorative.”
I don’t believe in boiling down everything and everyone to raw data. My independent mindset is intentional, not theatrical. “Dystopian Porn,” in and of itself, does nothing to advance our society.
When critiquing illiberal (lack of) thought, I coined the following four informal fallacies:
- “It Will Never Be Enough”
- Whether We’re Really “Giving Comfort” To Bad People
- Excusing Bad Behavior as a “Defense Mechanism”
- Dismissing New Ideas With “I’ve Never Heard of That”
Building upon the concept of “nutric masculinity” that I’d mentioned, earlier…
We need to take seriously the stress and trauma unique to boys, during their youth.
We must avoid limiting ourselves to patriarchal (or gynocentric) definitions of “chivalry.”
We must value brotherhood without succumbing to misogyny.
We can’t excuse misandry when its offenders slyly wield it as part of an attempt to position women and girls as biologically and sociologically “superior.”
We shouldn’t deny personhood to complete strangers by imposing the adage of “Happy Wife, Happy Life” upon them.
And, no, #DefundThePolice was never a smart slogan.
Oh, and I capitalize the “W” along with the “B”…
Politics
I took on the stupid narratives built upon the political figures whom certain segments of the population have chosen to deify — with the two examples that stood out most to me throughout 2023 being Dianne Feinstein and Vivek Ramaswamy.
My wakeup call to Democrats: Stop talking about how you need “better messaging,” and just implement it!
My wakeup call to Republicans: Stop claiming to be “fiscally responsible” when you hypocritically turn around and put our economy in peril just because you hate Joe Biden!
There are a whole bunch of political fallacies that certain wide swathes of Americans seem to digest without question. So then, to correct the record…
No, we don’t “deserve” bad government!
No, we aren’t “divided” over EVERYTHING!
No, the past wasn’t as “civil” as we want to romanticize it as having been!
No, we haven’t been rendered helpless in the shadows of “the powers that be”!
No, a phone concession isn’t necessary to maintaining free and fair elections!
No, getting rid of Donald Trump for good won’t suddenly magically fix everything!
There are middle-ground solutions. We overlook ways to foster mutual understanding when we disagree. Blind partisanship will be reduced if we employ better communication.
Let’s get smart about Critical Race Theory, the need for media responsibility, plus making sure we don’t gaslight ourselves for the tricky balance between pragmatism and idealism.
And, no — mandatory national service for young people isn’t the solution, either.
Accepting My Past
As many of you have figured out by now, I’m very sensitive to bullying. It’s a constant when I look back at the sorriest periods of my life — and I grapple with how to handle similar antagonists in the present when I make attempts to have more self-love and worry less about being well-liked.
Still, I lashed out and psychoanalyzed myself when trying to make sense out of why I’ve felt the way I have about various aspects of my childhood and adolescence — school lunches, clothing, toys, parental control, body language, teasing, small talk, public nudity, and making (or failing to make) friends.
Examining my trauma helps me diagnose whether I got offended over things that were petty or serious.
I’ll probably always struggle with wondering what-could-have-been if I’d had more positive male authority figures and male friendships during my formative years. What things could have been like if I’d grown up around today’s technology.
Looking back has also helped to crystallize how disparate generational perspectives can have a great deal of influence over people’s different priorities.
I’ve realized that apologies and forgiveness aren’t what I need.
What I need is to be honest with myself about why I care about interpersonal mistreatment. These reflections go a long way toward answering that.
Society & Pop Culture
Finally, 2023 was significant because it marked the launching of my “Jigsaw Gens” anthology. My desire to spread greater intergenerational literacy moved to the forefront of my own priority list.
As a Millennial, I’ve learned to embrace my sentiments of nostalgia in a levelheaded way — whether it’s appreciation for Tina Turner or the McDonald’s characters. I was able to produce a handful of binge-watching TV reviews drawing upon my television memories from this era: Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Dharma & Greg, and My So-Called Life were among them.
At the same time, I became even more disheartened (but, quite frankly, not terribly surprised) to find anti-Millennial ageism continuing to grow. The seeds have been planted by disingenuous public voices (such as Jean Twenge and Jeff Gardinier) for years now…but, for some reason, if we happened to be born between the years of 1980 and 1996, we’re supposed to just laugh off the vitriol to which we are regularly subjected.
This is all the more reason why younger generations should come together and form a coalition, despite the structural disadvantages presently stacked against us.
It’s why popularity as measured by American Idol is a poor gauge of public opinion.
It’s why Kelly Ripa’s current game show — although built upon the trend of intergenerational differences — could actually turn out to be a positive thing.
And, with television streaming platforms entering even more volatile territory, all of us (regardless of birthyear or generational cohort) are certain to see our content delivery upended in even less predictable ways.
I guess this was just a shamelessly self-promotional and long-winded way of saying…
Expect more of this from me, in 2024.
In fact, expect me to accelerate it with even greater ferocity!
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